I'm Going to Be Spending Markedly Less Time on Twitch

Random Thoughts from a Restless Mind

Created At: September 8, 2024 - 5:13 pm
Updated At: September 8, 2024 - 5:13 pm

TL;DR

I'm going to be less active on Twitch. I don't really market my blog, so I don't know if literally anyone will read this. I'm also not foolish or arrogant enough to think anyone really cares whether I'm on Twitch or not. I'm not intending to write this from a place of ego, but I've heard a number of streamers say something along the lines of, "It can be tough being a streamer when you start to connect to a name on the screen, then one day they stop showing up. You don't know if they're alive or dead. You don't know if they're okay." So I'm writing this to let those who might worry that I am alive. I am safe. I am well. Well, I'm not well, but I'm alive and safe. 😅😅😅 I'm not deactivating. I'll still be reachable by the usual means. And there's a very good chance you'll see me lurking from time to time, maybe even chatting a bit, but I plan to actively limit the amount of time I'm participating in Twitch chats.

So that's the gist of it. If you want the meat and potatoes, the why, etc... feel free to read on.

I'm going to explain a number of reasons why I think this is best for me. It is not my intention to attack anyone or for anyone to take any of this personally. These are simply my feelings on what Twitch has become to me. Essentially, it boils down to me feeling like Twitch is no longer a positive in my life, and I'm, more often than not, in a worse mood after spending time on it than I was before I hopped into a stream to chat.

Twitch is Cliquey

Twitch, in many ways, reminds me of the worst parts of high school. There are cliques, judgments, you-can't-sit-with-us mentalities, etc... In many ways, I'm realizing that Twitch is a popularity contest. I am not, nor have I ever been, nor do I think I ever will be, popular. I have friends. I have very very close and good friends who I truly believe speak well of me when I'm not around and who I would walk through fire for. But this isn't about them. This decision is about me. I don't have mass appeal. I don't know how to fit in with large groups. I'm not a good streamer. I'm not a valuable mod. I don't even think I'm a great viewer most of the time. I often don't know what to say. I never got very good at small talk, and Twitch, at least in my experience, isn't usually conducive to deeper conversations. And throughout my time on Twitch, and especially recently, I've seen Twitch drama bring out the worst in people. Almost everything that's done is done for the sake of content and clout. And I fucking hate it.

Twitch is Hollow

Some of my closest friends I have today, I met on Twitch, and I'm incredibly grateful. But that doesn't change the fact that a lot of Twitch is petty, hollow networking, ass-kissing, and boot-licking. People hype each other up, even when they don't believe the words they're saying. And I get it. It makes sense. It would be pretty shitty and rude to get a raid, and be like, "You can follow this person if you want, but their stream is pretty boring." I get why things are this way, but I find myself increasingly annoyed with how fake it all seems. It's just not a world I'm meant to be a part of.

Twitch is a Time Suck

I mean this mainly as a viewer, but it is a waste of time to me. For streamers, it makes sense. You're building a brand and a community. You're (hopefully) making some money. Even the time you spend as a viewer, you're getting new ideas for stream, networking, etc... None of this applies to me, though, because I'm not really building anything. I don't want to turn streaming into my career. I started it merely as a hobby and a way to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe meet some people and have a chat. The only time I really wish I was an actual streamer is when I'm left out of things, like collaborations, because people don't see me as a streamer or don't see me as entertaining. This is a very minor sting because I quickly remind myself that I chose not to put effort into streaming. I chose not to refer to myself as a streamer and not to spend too much time or energy on it. But when the majority of your friends are streamers, that minor sting you feel can happen a lot. And it starts to build. Rather than put people I care about in an awkward spot or delude myself into thinking I could ever be a streamer people actually want to partner up with and do things together with, it seems better to just step away to focus on things I'm actually good at.

Twitch is a Sleep Inhibitor

I've struggled with insomnia my entire life, but nothing has fucked up my sleep schedule quite like Twitch. And it's by design. All these types of apps and social media are designed to create FOMO, to keep you coming back for more, and to make you anxious when you're not there. I hate this feeling. I don't want to submit to it any more. I want to improve my sleep, improve my health, and focus on parts of life that I think are important.

Twitch is a Productivity Killer

I don't mean this as some sort of capitalist, "You must always be producing!" grind mindset. I simply mean, when I'm sitting in a Twitch chat, I'm rarely working on my own projects, my own life. And I don't think this is unique. I see a lot of chatters talking about projects they're working on and what their future is gonna be like, but I've seen these same people talking about the exact same things they were talking about 2, 3, even 4 or more years ago. They're stagnant. And I've spent most of my life not being stagnant. But Twitch, for me, has been something that's brought me closer to stillness than I've ever been, and I need to realize that so that I can distance myself from an app with dubious real-life value that may also be the number one thing hindering me from completing the goals I have in life.

Twitch Has Too Many Fucking Ads

There's not much to say about this aside from ads have gotten increasingly worse since I joined Twitch, and I don't see them getting any better, at least not any time soon. They'll just continue getting worse.

Twitch is No Longer Providing Value to Me or Helping Me Live the Life I Want to Live

I don't know when I was first introduced to Twitch and technically joined, but like many people, I really got into it during the 2020 pandemic. A friend was living with me, and she was a streamer, so she introduced me to it. It provided a number of great benefits at the time - some sort of social connection during lockdown, new ideas and games, and even friends. Like, literal friends, not parasocial nonsense. But it quickly hit a point of diminishing returns, and now I feel like it provides almost no value. And the little value it does provide is offset by the negatives mentioned above. For me personally, Twitch has gone from a net-positive to a net-negative.

So those are my thoughts on the matter and why I'll be around less. I hope the people I've made connections with stay in my life. I hope we continue talking, hanging out in Discord, etc... but I also know that when most of your friends spend most of their time doing something and you stop doing that something, it becomes more difficult to stay connected and find time to spend together. I hope that isn't the case here, but I've been feeling this way for a while, so I can't ignore it any more. I've thought about this a lot, and every time I think, "maybe I was wrong and this can be positive," something new happens that upsets me or ruins my mood. So, at least for now, goodbye, Twitch.